It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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