Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize