dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
