Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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