The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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