whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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