The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Your penis caused this!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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