Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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