I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
