Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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