okay pat passed out under dana's car
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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