Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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