I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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