I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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