i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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