She said her name was "party"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
