i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
