You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
