just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
