a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize