forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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