I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
