proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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