I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
