The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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