Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
