There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
