I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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