My room smells like vodka and shame
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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