There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize