The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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