I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
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If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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