i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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