he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
3pm strippers are depressing
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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