you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
