I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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