She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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