So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize