if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize