do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
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Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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