He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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