Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize