kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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