All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
