we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
