I hope mine doesn't look like that
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
