he thought i was a dude.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
