Where is the hickey?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
