Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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