brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
