At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
