what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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