I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
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