I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
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They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
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New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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