the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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