i barfeds in our rink
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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