Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
