Well apparently he's into motor boating.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
