If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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