i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
