and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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