he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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