Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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